Thursday, January 13, 2011

Everyone wants a perfect love story. Each soul dreamt of having a charming prince riding a white enchanting horse to fetch them to some goddamn classic castle to get married. Every person wishes that their Romeo would suddenly fall from the sky presenting them with a ravishing diamond ring that would get girls from the whole town wanting to be you. All of you want something from someone, but do nothing to show that you actually deserve it.

I used to be the girl whose bound out of love from the previous relationship I had. Like every other nights I find myself still awake, searching every angle within my brain for any possible reason for this unsettled mind. I feel that there's multi fold things to be done in fixing this world. Everyday I wonder if I make a difference, or had I touched anyone's life just yet by being sincere, without any slight deterrence over anything. Or if I am slowly anesthetize by the putrefaction the world has to offer.

First, you noticed my existence and seeked for my name. The next day you told yourself if you were to hold me in your arms, you will never set me free. I remembered your words of having me as the last girl to surrender you heart to. Having to know me as long as it felt like one two three four five six seven days, I secretly wished I was the only girl in your eyes.

You eased all my problems and wash away all my worries. Even though tears would never stop to spill vigorously, you continued your attempt to stop it from spilling. I am very sorry if I went too far at times, sucking all the precious seconds of your time listening to I whine. I was a little childish, to think you could no longer be bothered by my immature behaviors. I'm very sorry if I ever thought you never cared, when you did so much.

I come to realise we couldn't be spending the rest of our lives dwelling over something had stopped to happen. True, they're moments in life where we had wished that we hadn't made certain choices. What's done is done, and all we can do now is to learn from our mistakes instead of grieving over spilt milk. Its not like you can order the whole shit to rewind.Why don't you shove the dark things aside and hope for a better sunshine? It's not like when one thing is screwed, the rest will be. Getting hurt is part of the process. Too bad in reality, thats the way things work. Life's not another Cinderella story. Make your life meaningful, live life the way its worth living for.

Amazingly, I still count the number of days. You never fail to make me smile for every thought of you. No matter how annoying can you get at times, you'll make up to it and make me laugh out of it. The little arguments we went through were indeed hilarious when I reminiscing about it now. Well I think things do not line up according what we expect now but just to let you know I really miss you and I don't wish for this to end.

Once I thought the strong feeling that beat haphazardly against the chest, making me feel restless all night is something that shouldn't be ignored. Can I hear your voice now and those three words you used to tell me every minute?

yours truly, xoxo

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