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Friday, December 27, 2013

Ask me: How to deal with break-ups?

Let's take a break from all the advertorial posts and get down to more personal! Good news, I've finally decided to come up with a segment in my blog called "Ask me, Lydia Izzati", whereby you can simply ask me about anything and I'll blog about it! Be it about fashion tips, traveling tips, relationship tips, or whatsoever, I will try my best to answer to you. In a way, this will help me to reach to my readers even more!  Yeayyyyyy! 




Hence, a lot of you has been requesting about this topic since months months ago, there you go!

Today, I shall blog about..

How to deal with break-ups?

Every single soul probably has gone through break-ups. It's the worst feeling ever. Pretty much of like passing away of a loved one. Whether the relationship lasted three weeks or three years, breakups can leave us feeling heartbroken, lost and even physically ill. Breaking up isn't as hard to do if you understand that everything is happening to your heart, your mind and your body is totally normal. It's normal to be feeding yourself with a tub of ice-cream while crying over sad movies. It's also normal to be wanting to slash him at his throat, and the next minute, caught yourself crying again.

While it's true that time heals everything, but hey, you can actually speed up the process of moving on by taking control of your health and well-being. It's not normal to stay stuck in your confused, lonely state. Be gentle with yourself during a break-up, and keep on reminding yourself, no matter how dark the day, you will get through this.

1. Talk it out!
For a start, you're probably at the stage of of shock. "What the hell just happened?" Your emotions starts to gather, and you might just not want to deal with it next. Feeling scared, confused, lonely. This is the where you need your best friend/girl friends the most. Surround yourself with compassionate, supportive friends. Have a talk with them and gain clarity you need to see why your relationship didn't work and why it happened. If you feel like crying your hearts out, go ahead! Trust me, you'll feel much better after that.

2. Don't rethink your decision
For some, you might be dealing with the dissolution of the relationship. You might replay the whole relationship in your mind again and again, thinking where you go wrong or how you can make things right. It might be you who ended the relationship, or vice versa. But whatever it is, learn how to accept the situation, and work on moving forward.

3. Stay away from your Ex
This, by far, plays the most important part of moving on. Face it, both of you have thousands of mutual friends, so many ties connection or whatsoever. But remember, you need your space. Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, stay away completely from each other right after the break up. This means not seeing each other, not being around his friends or family members, no phone calls/text messages, no Facebook/Twitter, no Whatsapp, nothing. Until you feel that you can converse with him/her on a purely platonic level, without an ulterior motive. If he/she tries to convince you to see him/her, ask yourself honestly what's the point. They usually use the same old trick like, "I wanna meet you for the last time to clear things." or, "Can I take my stuff from you?" NEVER FALL FOR THAT. Like for my case, he always find his ways trying to get through me or wanting me back, sometimes just to even pick a fight. So what did I do? Block him everywhere. The end :D

4. Cope with pain appropriately
It's okay to feel messed up, feeling like you're a complete failure in relationships. On the other hand, you must also accept that you are a good person, and you did your best, and you're not the only one who made mistakes. Remember, acceptance is the key to being able to start moving on.

5. Make a "Reminder" list
If you still think you're stuck in this break-up, make a list of all the reasons why your ex is not the one for you.
For example:
1) He cheated on me 
2) He slept with a girl behind my back 
3) He went clubbing secretly 
4) He doesn't appreciate all the things I've done for him
5) He doesn't respect me as his girlfriend

Because sometimes, whenever you feel like picking up the phone to call him/her, or having the urge to reply to their pathetic messages, remind yourself again about the things he has done. Tell yourself, "Why would I wanna go back to the same old relationship and torture myself again?"

6. Do things you love
Spend more time with your friends and family, give yourself a treat, pamper yourself, sign up for classes that you've been wanting to take. Do things that make you happy! Remind yourself that a relationship is one part of life, but when you're in one, there are personal pleasures that you can always enjoy on your own. Indulge in those things now. As they say, the best revenge is living well. 

7. Look good, stay active and keep fit!
Studies says that exercise helps to improves your mood and alleviates depression, lowering your stress level. Thus, the distraction will help to keep your mind off your situation.

There you go, 7 steps of how to deal with break-ups! It's easy peasy! Just don't be too harsh on yourself after a break-up. For me, I'm always telling myself, "For all the shits that he has done, he definitely doesn't deserve me at all." and I'm proud to say, I'm happier now! Girls, if your boyfriend isn't treating you right, please don't waste your time staying. You'll missed out the good guys out there, whose waiting for their chance to treat you better. Just a piece of advice! ;)

Feel free to drop me and e-mail at lydia-izzati@live.com.sg for the next topic you want me to blog about! Alternatively, you can just drop a comment below at the end of the post. Or! Tweet to me @LydiaIzzati ;)

Xoxo,
Lydia Izzati

1 comment :

  1. Can you share with us about your workout routines? Or at least, how you keep yourself motivated to work out over time?

    ReplyDelete

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